Haphazard

Dear Dorothy,

Do you still understand the difference between a nightmare and a dream?
Or, have you lost the whole context too?

I'd like to believe that life isn't as complicated as it seems right now.

Watching him in my sleep is no consolation.
If it feels happy, it hurts.
If it feels sad, it hurts all the more.
Either way, its a nightmare in different colours.

Why do I think so much? - you ask
I try not to, trust me
I try to dive deep into the meaningless pile of work
I toil from morning to night without any requirement.
It doesn't always work.

My best critic has become more critical than ever.
She sneers at my sight in the mirror.
She laughs at my curls, at the bags below my eyes that no amount of facial can hide.
She reminds me each night - You don't know how to talk to people or how to respect anyone, especially the ones you love...
She has never lied to me.
Perhaps, she is right this time as well.

A swimmer drowns each night.
Each day, a bird burns to ashes while reaching for the sun.

I wish I could set fire to the guitar.
It plays so out of tune.